2018: My Year in Review

2018 has come and gone, so I decided to take a look back on the past year and everything it has brought me.  It hasn’t all been good, it hasn’t always been easy, but it’s still be special.  Looking back on 2018, and welcoming 2019!

If you had to describe your 2018 in three words, what would they be?

Challenging, Strengthening, Irreplaceable.

Challenging: somehow, even challenging feels like an understatement.  This year was incredibly testing on my emotional and physical strength.  I went through loss, heartache, change, and so much more.  It tested me in ways I didn’t think I could handle, but I did.

Strengthening: this year not only strengthened me, but it also made me realize my own strength.  I took on challenges I never considered, and I leaned on those I love even when my pride resisted.  Lucky for me, I had plenty of people in my life who were willing to be there for me and take care of me.

Irreplaceable: although not everything went as planned this year, although it wasn’t all good, and although it was a struggle at times – I’m still thankful for all the good this year has brought me.  It formed an irreplaceable bond between my family, it allowed me to grow only closer to my mom, it brought my best friend a pregnancy, my brother an engagement, and me a new relationship!

What, or who, are you most thankful for?

Hands down, my family.  It was another year of tests, changes, and growth for us.  The relationships we have are something I can’t even describe to you in words.  My brothers and I have always been close, even more so after my parents got divorced.  We are a team – always have been, always will be.  Whenever something was wrong, I was upset, I needed something, etc., I knew that I could talk to ANY of them.  Each one of them is only a text or drive away.  I am continuously grateful for the relationship I have with my family.. my dad, my mom, and both of my brothers – they’re all like best friends to me and I don’t know what I would do without them.

What new things did you discover about yourself?

I am stronger than I ever realized, and I know that sounds incredibly cliche, but it’s true.  2018 threw a lot of shit my way, and not much of it was good – but had I gone through all those things even two years ago, I don’t think I would have made it.  I have come so far in my strength.

What single achievement are you most proud of?

Completing an entire year at the University.  Going back to a university has been frightening to me since the day I left.  Straight out of college I attended ISU, and it didn’t go well for me… I left after one semester and never wanted to go back.  But in fall of 2017 I decided to give it another shot.  I’m so proud of myself for making it through the entire year and not giving up!  It may not seem like much, but it’s a huge accomplishment for me.

What was the best news you received?

MY BEST FRIEND IS PREGNANT!  Michelle (yes, same name) has been my best friend ever since kindergarten.  We have grown up together, had our ups and downs, been through the good and bad, and somehow she’s still by my side!  Being a mom has always been such a dream of hers, and I am SO excited to watch her on this journey!  Little babe will be here in just one short month, and I am over the moon excited!!  She deserves only the best.

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What was your favorite place you visited?

Although the reasoning for these trips were… terrible, my favorite place I visited this year would still have to be Alliance, Nebraska.  This is where my parents grew up, where my brothers and I were born, where so much of my family was for so many years, and it’s always felt like home to me.  I was born here, but we moved to Minnesota when I was teeny tiny.  Fortunately for me, my grandparents still lived there, and we would visit them throughout the years!  I always loved going to Nebraska, staying at Grandma and Grandpa’s, going to the pool, going to the fountain, etc etc.. memories I’ll never forget.

Which of your personal qualities turned out to be the most helpful this year?

Luckily, one of my favorite qualities ended up being the most helpful this year.  This year I really came out of my shell regarding my hand lettering and sign making.  Over the years, I have had the opportunity to “design” signs for various jobs I’ve had – but nothing like the opportunities I had at Berg’s.  Back in May I started working there, and my boss quickly picked up on my talent and enthusiasm for things like this.  I got to make a ton of fun signs throughout the year, learn a lot of new things, and even got a bunch of compliments on them!  I also did a ton for my mom’s wedding, which was so much fun!

What five people did you most enjoy spending time with?

Ben – obviously.  I mean, what did you expect?  This guy quickly became one of my best friends and someone I have no problem spending every single day with.

Michelle – of course!  This is always a given.  I love being able to spend time with my best friend, no matter how long it is.  Michelle and I have always had schedule conflicts, working opposite schedules and not being able to see each other as often as we like.  But every time we hang out, it’s like we’ve never been apart.

Brothers – these dudes, I love them.  We had plenty of road trips and adventures and opportunities for laughs, talks, and growth.  We always have a good time, they always make me laugh until I cry, and they’re always there to give me a hug or let me fall apart on their shoulder.

Parents – I’ve always been close to both of my parents.  My dad is one of my best friends.  We spend a lot of time together, we talk about pretty much everything, and there was a time when all we had to lean on was each other.  My mom is also one of my best friends.  There are times I tell her things I never dreamed of telling anyone, especially her.  And as the years go by, and I get older, our relationship only strengthens and grows.

Family – I know this isn’t technically a person, so I’m basically cheating, but it’s fine!  Family in general is my favorite; easily one of my top priorities.  Lucky for me, my family extended this year.  Not only did my mom get married, which allowed me to gain a sister, another brother, and plenty of distant relatives!  But I was also welcomed into my boyfriends family with open arms – I love spending time with all of them!

How did your relationship to your family evolve?

This year, my mom got married – something I never imagined I would get to experience.  Even better, she let me help plan it, and I even got to be her maid of honor!  Still so cool to say.  It was such an amazing day.  Unfortunately, my mom also lost both of her parents this year.  Which both tested us, and brought us closer together.  The four of us had to lean on each other in a way we never have before – and I am forever grateful for the bond we created over those couple months.  It really made us realize JUST how much we love each other, we need each other, and we can count on each other.  My brother also got engaged this year!  Which means our family will be growing again, and I’ll be gaining a sister!  I’m so excited to see where this journey is going to take them, and I can’t wait to help plan!!  Over the year, we made room for more people… which isn’t always the easiest thing to do for us, because we’re such a tight knit group already.  Some people stayed, some people didn’t.  We welcomed Ben into the family, and he welcomed me into his.  I feel like I have gained so much family this year, and I am SO grateful for that!

What was the best compliment that you received this year?

This year, with Ben coming into my life, I gained a boyfriend, a best friend, and more family.  I was insanely nervous to meet his family, simply because I didn’t want them to hate me.  I love this kid, he loves me, and I wanted his family to love me too.  Knowing how close Ben and his mom are, I worried about her liking me or maybe not thinking I was right for him.  After some time together, getting to know each other, and me just relaxing and being myself, I received the SWEETEST, most amazing text from his mom, Kathi.  I won’t go word for word, because it’s very special to me – but she basically welcomed me into the family and told me I was a perfect fit.  It just made my heart SO happy.

What little things did you most enjoy during your daily life?

Being that this year wasn’t as great as I had hoped it would be, I often had to focus on the positives throughout the day, no matter how small they were.  One of my favorite things that happened was coffee in the morning – especially when it was brought to me in bed by my boyfriend!! I also started going to church with Ben on Sunday mornings!  I’ve enjoyed it not only for the church aspect, but it gives me a chance to connect with his family.  I generally ended the night watching TV or football with my dad – one of my favorite things!  He always takes a couple weeks off around Christmas to watch the college football bowl games, and since I was in between jobs at the end of the year, we got to watch a lot of them together!  My puppies also made every day better; all the cuddles, playing fetch, walks, and kisses!  I love them so much.

What new habits did you cultivate?

I started off the year with 80 day obsession, which consisted of something I have never done before – following a meal plan.  I’ve tried most of the fad-diets, all that crap and bullshit, but never just healthy eating (which is what I should have been doing all along).  I tried new things regarding fitness, and I’m looking forward to extending that in this year as well.  My organizational skills were tested this year while working three jobs and going to school… it was a lot, but it was worth it.  Now I’m down to two and feeling much better!  I also began to care about myself more and started putting myself as a bigger priority.  Although this took a couple months to start, I did get there.  I cut ties with toxic people who were repeatedly not there for me, and starting putting more effort into relationships that actually mattered.

What had the biggest positive impact on your life this year?

Fitness – both instructing class and BeachBody.  Every year I try to be a better instructor for my students.  I try to consistently find new music, work on new routines, try new moves, and just overall improve.  My job is very important to me, and I want to help each and every person achieve their goals.  This is also what drew me to becoming a BeachBody coach.  It gave me a chance to reach out to more people – maybe those who don’t go to the gym, or don’t have the time.  It affected my life in the most positive way… not only bringing me a million different new programs and ways to eat better and live a healthier lifestyle, but also brought me an amazing group of ladies who are always there for me no matter what I need!

Was there anything you did for the first time in your life?

Ziplining!  Last Christmas my dad got all of us kids a trip for ziplining!  Lucky for me, I even got to bring Ben with!  I was terrified beyond belief, and I kept threatening to stay in the car… but, I did it!  And it was so much fun!  The rush was insane, and I’m so proud of myself for overcoming my fears and letting go!

What was your favorite moment spent with friends?

Hands down, Michelle’s baby shower for future baby Sheely!  I have been waiting for Michelle to have kids for many, many years.. and I am SO excited to see her be a mom!  I just know she’s going to be incredible.  What made it even better, is that two of our other friends from Elementary School were there as well!  The four of us used to be SO tight – so it was awesome to get together and catch up.  I even got to bring Ben along, which meant they all got to meet him, which is really important to me!  Regardless, it was such a fun day of spoiling Michelle and baby, and I’m so glad I could be there!

What major goal did you lay the foundation for?

I have an entire blog post regarding this whole situation coming soon!  But, I laid the foundation for my future career, my end goal.  I am SO excited to get started and start working towards the rest of my life!  It’s so cool to finally know what I want to do for the rest of my life, and I just know I’m going to kill it.

What experience would you love to do all over again?

80 day obsession – and I am!  As I’ve said a million times, 80 day obsession was monumental for me.  It didn’t only change me physically, but it changed me mentally as well.  It pushed me to new limits, forced me try new things, and only strengthened me!  I’m going to be doing it all over again, and I can’t wait!

How did your overall outlook on life change?

This year I was reminded just how quickly life can be taken from you… how you should ALWAYS cherish your time with people, and how desperately you can miss someone after they’re gone.  I never thought about a day when my grandparents wouldn’t be in my life, but it finally happened.  As most of you know, I lost both of my grandparents this year within about a two month span.  My grandpa’s health had been declining slowly over the past couple years, but it took a sharp turn at the end of March and we were forced to say goodbye.  Shortly after, grandma decided she couldn’t be without him… and we were forced to say another goodbye.  Although I miss them like crazy, every single day, I know they are always in my heart`1.  They will always be with me, they will always be watching over me, and I will always have so many amazing memories to look back on and cherish.  I was lucky enough to grow up spending a lot of time with them, and I’m forever grateful for that.

What do you deserve a pat on the back for?

Not only being a strong ass woman this year, I deserve a pat on the back for opening up again.  When my ex and I broke up, I was fairly certain I was going to be alone for a very long time.  Little did I know, some little cutie was hanging out only a short 20 minutes away from me.  We met on Bumble, and he changed my life forever.  It didn’t take me long to open up to him, because everything just felt… right.  He was a trooper, and waited an entire three weeks to hang out with me because I had a cold that just wouldn’t let go!  Haha but I believe I speak for both of us when I say, it was well worth the wait.  In only a short five months, we have grown so much together.  This kid is honestly my best friend, and one of the only people I don’t mind spending every day with.  I’m incredibly excited to see what this new year has in store for us!

2019: Looking forward…

What do you want the overarching theme for your 2019 to be?

Positive change.  This year is going to be all about change, and all about positivity.  I’m over the negative, toxic, hurtful things this world has to offer – I want to focus more on all of the GOOD I have in my life!  And all of the good that I am sure is yet to come this year.  I am also preparing myself for a lot of change, which will hopefully all be good!

What do you want to see, discover, explore?

I’m hoping to travel more this year!  Although I got to go a few places, they were the usual and so nothing too crazy.  This year I will obviously be making another trip to Lincoln for some Husker Football; maybe even a couple times if I can convince Ben to go with me!  I would also like to make a trip to both Alliance and McCook, to visit my grandparents grave site and to see some family!  There is also a Maryland trip in my future – which I am SO pumped for!

Who do you want to spend more time with in 2019?

Family, Ben, friends (namely, Michelle & Emily).  I’m hoping to be better about getting out of the house and enjoying time with people!  I want to make more time for friends and family, and really be active and engaged when I’m with them!  Less time on my phone, more time with people.

What skills do you want to learn, improve, or master?

I would really like to work on and improve my signage/hand lettering this year.  Working at Bergs gave me an amazing opportunity to enhance that, plus I made signs for mom’s wedding, and a couple handmade signs for Christmas presents!  I’m even hoping to get an Etsy shop up and running, so that I can share this with others!  Here comes the organization aspect… I need to focus in on my organization skills – maybe to-do lists will have to be my thing this year?  We’ll see!

Which personal quality do you want to develop or strengthen?

Motivation and discipline.  I’m hoping to find my motivation each and every day to eat better, workout, and overall live a healthier lifestyle.  I’m hoping to be more present in my every day life, and not put off things so much or stop myself from doing something because I’m scared of failure. Discipline will come into play with healthy eating.  I’m starting the year out by following a meal plan, and after that I’m hoping to stay on track!

Which habits do you want to change, cultivate or get rid of?

Negativity, negative body image, toxic people/relationships, emotional/binge eating.  I clearly have a lot of gross habits that I’m hoping to get rid of this year, but I have faith I can make it happen.  Negative body image has always been a huge fault of mine, and I’m hoping this year I can do better about loving myself!  I no longer plan on tolerating shitty people or relationships, and I refuse to accept anything less than I deserve.  I’m also going to work on my emotional eating… because it really screws me over when it comes to eating better.  I’ll just have to find better ways to cope with my emotions, food is not the answer.

What do you want to achieve career-wise?

Excel overall.  I don’t have a specific goal in mind here, because I really have no idea what this year will bring me career-wise.  I am hoping to do well at all of my jobs, learning news things and only getting better at what I’m doing.  I also plan on saving up and start paying better attention to my finances!

What is your number one goal for 2019?

I wanted to split this up into two groups, mentally and physically.  Mentally, I’m hoping to lower the dosage on my medication, causing me to find other ways to cope with anxiety & depression.  Although I’ve come to terms with the fact that these meds really do help me, I would like to be on as little a dosage as possible.  I don’t want to miss out on things, and I sure as hell don’t want to rely on them forever.  Physically, I would like to hit my goal weight/body “image”.  I’m not really sure what my goal weight is, because honestly it’s hard to go by just weight.  I plan on going more by how I feel and look!  But I do plan on making lots of changing and hopefully, finally, feeling comfortable in my own skin.

Wishing you all the best year yet – happy 2019!